my silence does not mean defeat ; i hold back so that i wont hurt anyone but you had to go on and on until i felt like giving you a piece of my mind. but i didn't

leave me with all the hurt huh?

God, help me to control my anger and help me to not bottle things up because i dont want to bottle up all the s*** that * said.
in Jesus' name Amen.

today was a relatively normal day until two people in my life came up to me and spoiled it
thanks ah.

i now reside in my rubiks cube to relieve my anger and distress.

as if im not stressed enough by the midyear exams.. rawr.

i have absolutely no faith in a lot of subjects. eg.
math,chinese,history and science.
oh my. i realised thats like 4/5 subs that i have no confidence in *gasps* this is so horrible.

i think i need to improve my math la i always get last in class.

thank God my psycological state of mind can take this mental torture. or else i would be breakingdown and crying my eyes out every other day .

but i cried today . after THAT incident
duno y i just felt so .. so.. guilty yet i know that it isnt exactly my fault for choosing that . i just felt so blamed and i felt that they hate me for spoiling their holiday ..
i duno

i dont want it to affect me so much cuz i got so much more important things to care about but well .. i would have to face it sooner or later.

thanks faithe and serene for lending me a listening ear, i appreciate it a lot
love you both!